What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
She moved.

What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
She picks up her purse and goes home.

A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"
The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"

A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
Locking the car door.

Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
She kept having affairs with men!

Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter".

Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?
Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.

Why is a blonde like a door knob?
Because everybody gets a turn.

Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
Because she's been laid all over the country.

Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
Yeah! She missed.

Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
Because she blows the horn!

Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.

What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station?
The Air Pump!

How many blondes does it take to play tag?
Only One.

What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
"Oh look! Donut seeds!"

Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
So brunettes can remember them.

What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.

Did you hear about the blonde skydiver?
She missed the Earth!

Did you hear about the blonde who had two chances to get pregnant?
She blew it both times!

What do a moped and a blonde have in common?
They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.

Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!

What is the blonde's favorite potato chip?
Free-to-lay (Frito-Lay).

What is blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, ....?
A blonde doing cartwheels.

Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

What is the difference between a blonde and an inflatable doll?
About 2 cans of hair spray

If you push a blonde and a brunette off a building, which will hit the ground first?
The brunette! because the blond will have to stop and ask for directions!

Ask a blonde if she ever read Shakespeare?
The answere would be, No, who wrote it?

What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run like Hell.... Hes got a hand grenade in his mouth.

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Why cant blondes make ice cubes?
Because they always forget the recipe.

Why does a blonde always smile during lightning storms?
She thinks her picture is being taken.

pretty woman



g book1

Back to : | house | Just For Fun Menu | More Blonde Jokes |