DRIVING LICENSES GALORE

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school

• Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
  A: What for? He can't see my license plate.
• Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
  A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, don't kill people. I do
• Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?
  A: Always wear a condom.
• Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
  A: Your car.
• Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
  A: Be too shit-faced to find your keys.
• Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
  A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
• Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
  A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
• Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
  A: Make eye contact and wave hello if he/she is cute.
• Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
  A: The color.
• Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
  A: Heavy psychedelics.
• Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
  A: Carry loaded weapons.
• Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?
  A: It would be tough to be a Dick head all day long.