GARD'S LAWS ON LOVE

1. If you meet a woman, and you like her, then she...
   • has a boyfriend
   • is lesbian
   • has many friends she prefers to you
   • doesn't notice you're there
2. If a girl likes you, then you won't know before she has lost her interest in you and it is impossible to get her back.
3. If you meet a girl who likes you, and you like her, and she doesn't have a boyfriend, then she will have one within the week, and it isn't you.
4. The only way to win a girl is to take her love for granted (if you keep questioning it, she'll get tired of you).
5. If you take love for granted, everything will just go to hell.
6. If you don't have a girlfriend, there's always someone to remind you about it.
7. If you know a girl, date her, etc. etc. and in the end tell her that you love her, you won't hear from her again for the rest of your life.
8. About who picks you up:
   • If you're heterosexual, then homosexuals will try to pick you up.
   • If you're homosexual, then heterosexuals will try to pick you up.
   • If you're BI-sexual, then no one will try to pick you up.
9. If you have a friend who knows a girl who is desperately looking for a boy, he'll splice her with someone else.
10. About finding love:
    • If you hope that you have found love, you'll get very disappointed.
    • If you think that you have found love, you're wrong.
    • If you know that you have found love, you have been misinformed.
    • If you have found love, you won't know about it before it is lost.
11. There's always someone who is happy his/her entire life, and it isn't you.
12. If you both love something, she'll hate it next week.
13. About winning/losing:
    • If you don't have anything to lose, you won't win.
    • If you have something to lose, you'll lose it.
    • If you don't have anything to win, you'll win so that you can lose more.
14. If she's having a good time, it's not because of you.
15. About dating:
    • If she didn't say anything, she'll bring her boyfriend she never told you about.
    • If she arrives with her girlfriend, it's because she wants some kind of protection, not to put the two of you together.
    • If she comes alone, it's because she looks at you as a friend, and there isn't a chance in the world you'll ever be more than a friend.

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