Why do men like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.
A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children.
How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the farting before it starts.
Why don't men have a mid-life crisis?
They're stuck in adolescence.
How does a man show he's planning for the Future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
You never know what true happiness is until you are married, and then it is too late.