The perils of Upgrading

Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 4.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog, leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child-Processes, which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomenon was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activities. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before). At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8, FatherInLaw 58.9 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day. Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0:
A "Don't remind me again" button Minimize button
An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 to be installed with the option to uninstall at any time without the loss of cache and other system resources
An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode, which would allow the systems hardware probe feature to be much more useful
An option to avoid the installation of unnecessary Plug-Ins, like MotherInLaw, FatherInLaw and BrotherInLaw.

I myself decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with GirlFriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found many problems. Apparently you cannot install GirlFriend 2.0 on top of GirlFriend 1.0. You must uninstall GirlFriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is a long-standing bug that I should have been aware of. Apparently the versions of GirlFriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now. To make matters worse, the uninstall program for GirlFriend 1.0 doesn't work very well, leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another thing that sucksÑall versions of GirlFriend continually pop up little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0.

BUG WARNING
Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MS Money files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.

BUG WORK-AROUNDS
To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0. Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses that can accidentally be downloaded from the UseNet.

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