Dictionary of Dating

ATTRACTION: the act of associating horniness with a particular person.
BIRTH CONTROL: avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.
DATING: the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future
ATTRACTION: the act of associating horniness with a particular person.
EASY: a term used to describe a man/woman who has the sexual morals of a woman/man.
EYE CONTACT: a method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many woman have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.
FRIEND: a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with them totally unappealing.
INDIFFERENCE: a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted to by a man as "playing hard to get."
INTERESTING: a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.
IRRITATING: what the endearing little qualities that initially HABIT attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.
LAW OF RELATIVITY: how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date it.
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely 1st SIGHT choosy people meet.
NYMPHOMANIAC: a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.
SOBER: condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.

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